Day 10,001

He died today.

And I wasn't there with him.

10,000 days of me

I was born exactly 10000 days ago. I set a reminder in my agenda some months ago after D. sent me the calculations. Then I completely forgot about it until today when my phone started to ring.

They got me out of the hospital some days after I was born, it was mid July and my dad said I looked so bored and annoyed that he promised to love me forever. Which he did. It was the two of us against the world for about 9730 days of my life. Then they discovered his illness. And the world sort of crashed into me.

I’m the result of 10000 days of bad karma, wrong choices and too much analysis.

Four days in Milan, mind-blowing and painful to live.

45 days of bliss in Dublin, where I could have lived forever actually.

Roughly seven years of denial up until I went to Timisoara and my reality smashed against facts.

Many years of English and 16 months of full-time finance. Like… anyone can play guitar, right?

I’ve met A. who told me it’s the inside that matters but apparently he forgot to add that the outside is crucial. Backstage parties and wine tend to distort the truth. Then some 500 days later, not long ago, I met T. He didn’t say anything prophetic, just smiled and played guitar like a regular rockstar. I’m quite sure he’s locked under “les inrockuptibles”, those who cannot be corrupt. But he’s wakened me up of my lethargy and makes me wonder. What if? I seem to have a penchant for lost cases. Too bad I can’t write off the debt in real life referrals. Reset.