de fapt

   - Someone flipped a coin for me. Eram așa de vraiște încât nu puteam să mă hotărăsc. Nu știam ce să fac. Tot ce știam era că fusesem o greșeală. Așa că A.G. și o monedă de 50 de bani au ales. Two out of three. Și așa au început să se întâmple lucrurile cu eTEFaQ și Qc.  

  -  Nu, testele n-au ieșit bine. Dar e mai confortabil să-ți acorzi un răgaz de 3-4 luni în care să nu te mai gândești la asta. Sau să crezi că nu te mai gândești.

  - Nu m-am trezit de sete. Iar am visat povestea aia spre dimineață, iar m-am trezit urlând, iar am întins mâna după el. Cumva înainte să mă desprind de vis și știind  că nu e acolo. Dar l-am căutat.

   - E drept că nu-l cunosc pe de-a-ntregul. Nu m-a lăsat niciodată, n-am fost îndeajuns de... Asta e clar. Dar îi știu o părticică, și acolo am văzut ce e mai bun și ce e mai rău în el. 

And still…

I'm here

I almost hated you that day. But I knew you were right. And I knew I could sit there and cry forever. I was at my lowest but you didn’t judge me.

-          -  You still love him after all these years…

-          -   Uhum..

-          -  After everything he’s put you through?

-          -  …

   -  He’s a fucker!!! Can’t you see? And you're such a pushu!

Hearing you at the other end of the line today was painful. I wish there was a way I could help you go through this. But death has its own rules. Death is a fucker. It never asks permission, it just takes people's lives for granted. With a big grin.

I'm here, pushu. I know you can't read this but when you're ready I'll bake you crumble pies and make tons of ginger lemonade. And I'll sit there and I'll let you cry and I won't judge. Because we're friends, above all.

I'm here.

it was all fun and games

Until I sort of snapped for no reason. But I was late for work as usual so I just chose to ignore everything.

And theeeen it happened again right before lunch time. 

I am not this person. I used to be patient and warm and sort of compassionate and sharp and fun to have coffee with. Or I think I was. Now I'm just that crazy bitch who'd rather dismiss everybody. The sad part is I know what made me like this. But I can't shake it off. 

that dream

I had that dream again. With the waterfall.
And I woke up and you weren't here in my bed.
But 3 am is not a good time to panic.
So I'm doing it now.
And maybe one day when I reach out for you I'll find you.
And then...

houseofcards

We are not best friends. You can't crush and humiliate someone and then give them a friendly pat on the back. You don't do that. That's evil.


We are not best friends.